guess what everyone?!

MY BEST FRIEND IS OFFICIALLY COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am honestly the happiest person right now! It's real! He is coming home! After two years, in 90 days I will be in his arms and back where I belong!! :)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

singing

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer…. take one down. pass it around.

tomorrow there will be 98 bottles of beer on the wall.

.... i feel like this song is going to be stuck in my head for the next 99 days. 

drunk on love :)

Spoiled little boy

yes there are only four more months left. i still remember the day i said goodbye! i can't believe how fast it is going....

but there are still some days that feel like forever or a week that just will not end.

cam knows how i feel, and sometimes it can be hard.

he is so focused on the work and what he is doing, but inside, we are both just wanting to be in each other's arms. lets face it.

we miss each other!

But we are so close and we can't let it get to us so I sent cam two huge packages this week with tons of memories to go with the things I put inside. I know it will make him so happy and he just needed the little bit of happiness to keep him going till the end! I can't wait to hear about what he thought!

the things i do for this boy. :)

perfection.

allow me to boast just a tad bit. warning: this is yet another post about love. read with caution.

this man right here...

is the definition of perfection. why? well... let me just list a few things for you.

• he has this giggle that is contagious and is basically the cutest thing ever.
• he knows me in a way that no one ever could. he knows everything about me and still loves me anyways.
• he knows how i work. i am such a different person when it comes to my thoughts and actions. he is the only one who has figured me out without asking and knows how to handle me so that im always happy.
• he just wants to be happy and have fun. no need to have any drama.
• he is the perfect best friend. always there, an amazing listener, tells me when im being dumb, laughs at my dumb jokes, knows all my favorite things and never leaves my side.
• he loves the Lord more than anything, including me. 
• he has the most amazing testimony and is firm in his faith and beliefs. not to mention such an amazing missionary.
• even though he is miles and miles away, he can still make me happy and feel his love in every single letter he writes.
• he never gives up on anything.
• he is always positive and happy in any situation. 
• he is big and strong and unbelievably handsome..mmm!

he is mine and i am his and we are in love :) 125 more days till i have this man back in my arms! i simply cannot wait.

pretty sunday mornings

please excuse me while i write down a few of my thoughts...

as much as i have loved cameron being on his mission and the blessings that have come from his service, it really just sucks sometimes. today i start the count down to four months until he gets home and although that seems so close, i'm about done with this whole distance thing. the thoughts of seeing him at the airport almost literally kill me. i want it to be now. i want him home, in my arms. happy and in love. but i must wait and we still are happy and in love.

it doesn't help either that all of our friends are getting married and engaged daily. not an exaggeration. i see all of their pictures and how happy they are and again... i want him to be home. i am already tired of just planning ours, i want to start doing things, but it is too soon and that is another thing i must wait for. waiting is such a weird phase, and according to my patriarchal blessing, patience is a virtue i have... guess i should use it.

me and cam talk a lot about how hard satan is working on us. and it is noticeable. this week especially i just wanted to run away and hide from him! but the Lord is always there helping us and getting us through. we will do great things and we are way too strong for satan to break us. plus with a man like cam to lean on, i shouldn't have any fear.

i didn't get his letter this week, which is actually humbling. as much as i needed it, the lord knows what he is doing and it will come at the right time.

my race is in two weeks, which is crazy to think about but i am actually pretty excited! yesterday's run was pretty good and i feel like I am accomplishing so much.

life is good. and patience is a virtue.

missing him

i haven't had a melt down in a really long time. of course i miss Cameron all the time but not to the point of breaking down. something about that song mixed with the happiness of love and marriage hit me and yep, i lost it. i knew it was coming, just wasn't ready for it to be at that moment today.

having a missionary boyfriend out isn't easy. saying goodbye to each other was probably the hardest thing we have ever had to do. i had someone tell me today that he "left" me here alone and basically judged him for doing that, note this person is not a member and doesn't know the true purpose for a mission, but it really made me upset. my reaction? i support him 110% and would not have it any other way, and i mean that.

when you find the person you are meant to spend eternity with, you just know and nothing will get in your way of being with them. yes, two years is a long time and it's very hard, but i know that in the end it will all be worth it. that moment in the airport when i see his face for the first time and am in his arms, it is a moment i dream about. and when i finally get to be sealed to him for all eternity, that is when everything that we are going through will be all worth it.

i miss him, but i love him enough to wait. he is mine and i am his.

days of wonderful

Yesterday I got a surprise call from Maggie, my cute friend in Edinburg, Texas saying that she had just talked to Cam! She was going to see him as we spoke, he is staying in Edinburg for a few days. Lucky duck! She is such a sweetheart though and sends me pictures and videos of my cute boy. Look at him! He is so freaking skinny and looking just wonderful :) I may have been just giddy and happy in every way possible last night. I am in love :)

We have come so far in so many ways individually as well as a couple. He is my example and he tells me I am his. I am so proud of us and we still have 6 more months to get ourselves to exactly where we want to be. 

This bottom picture is of me two years ago vs. me today. I always saw a major change in Cam, but had never realized the change that I was making as well. These past few months have been rough trying to stay motivated to reach my goals and not going back on everything I had already accomplished. These pictures are my definite motivation to keep going.

I guess you could say I am a pretty happy girl right now :)

but who's counting?

16,588,800 seconds
276,480 minutes
4608 hours
192 days
27 weeks
6.3 months
.526 years
19.2 ten day periods
6 fast sundays
7 small holidays
9 ortho appointments
1.5 calls home
2 seasons
4 Transfers

but really....

who's counting?

Two Hundred Day

Happy Two Hundred Day!

Today marks 200 days until I get to see my best friend again!! Time is flying by and I could not be happier! Even though today wasn't the best day of my life, by a long shot, I still enjoyed thinking of all our memories and the future to come! For lunch we went to Ihop and laughed over memories and I basically ate everything in the world today, but its okay because I miss my best friend and he would have wanted me to go all out.... it's one of the reasons he fell in love with me :) I just can't wait for the day I get to be in his arms again. Summer, please go by fast!

baby week

well this is the week! a week for change. jamie is having her baby on wednesday. a new baby in the family, it just doesn't get better than that. cameron is finally getting transferred to kingsville. i can tell he is excited for his "baby" and i quote, "im dialated to about a 8 haha cause out on the mission we say we are pregnant and we are going to have a baby.... its gonna be so fun and me and Jamie are having babies at the same time!" im sorry honey, but that is just a little weird haha. its fine. with all this baby stuff going on i may have become a bit more baby hungry. which is okay, until i made the huge mistake of telling cam that. he wants a baby so bad. we would have a honeymoon baby if he had it his way. so when i said that, he about went through the roof. sorry to get your hopes up baby, but its NOT happening for a while! anyways, my change for the week is that i am actually going to lose weight! the past few weeks i have just sucked haha so i think its time to get back into my good eating and working out and dropping the pounds. it will be a good week though and email day was just the thing to start the wonderful week off! :)

he's happy :)

today is email day and my cam is the cutest little thing ever :) he was so happy today and i couldn't help but share. let me tell you, he sings when he is happy. it's possibly my favorite :)

well i have a little extra time right now hahahah... so i thought i would sing to you cause i know well i hope you like it!!!! :))))) "and i miss the sound of your voice.... and i miss the rush of your skin.... and i miss the sound of the silence as you breathe out, i breathe in, if i could walk on water if i could tell you whats next.... make you bielieve make you forget... so come on get higher loosin my lips faith and desire by the swing of your hips just hold me down hard... and DROWN ME IN LOVE" ahhaha i love that song baby it reminds me of you... 


there was my sky in town.... she thought she had me all figured out... well i may state something rash..... oh she has the most amazing..... hmmm... smile hahah i bet she didn't expect this... she made me change my ways.... with eyes like a sunset baby.... and legs that went on for days....... im falling in love but its falling apart i need to find my way back to the start when we were in love things are better than they were let me back into your arms!!!! 


and in your wedding dress to have and to hold!!!!! i got my toes in the water toes in the sand not a worry in the world i got sky in my lap life was good today life was good today hahahh!!!!! i love you baby!!!! :))))


he is way too cute :) 

love it babe :)

I don't think that cross-dressing is allowed on missions... but does that stop my Cam? 

Never.

He's too cute for words, and I am so blessed that this is what I get to look forward to when we get married! I cannot wait! :)

love

so there is this boy.

that makes me happy.

and i've fallen in love with him.

november cannot come any sooner!!

1/24/13 :)

that's my cutie on the left :) 

i love him 

simply wonderful

he is amazing, and perfect. i honestly could not ask for a better best friend. he loves me for me and supports me in everything i do. he is the reason for my happiness. and i am in love with him.

did i mention he gets home in 8 short months?

love, you should try it.

figuring out that feeling.

as i was reading a blog of another missionary girlfriend, this comment stuck out to me, "the thought of him missing out on these life memories that occur every single day saddens me. the fact that he has missed countless performances, vacations, and family dinners kills me. the fact that he's missed his sister get her drivers licence and missed thanskgiving with his family kills me. the fact that he can't be with his family for christmas breaks my heart. he's missing out on so many things and sometimes i think it's not fair. so many jokes, laughs, cries, movies, talks and other experiences have happened..without him. i'm afraid of making new memories..because i feel bad that he's not here to experience them at all. he only hears about them. the thought breaks my heart." These are my exact feelings, I could just never figure out what that hole in my heart was. The sad and lonely feeling. At times I feel myself starting to skip the parts in his letters that talk about what happened in his mission and not even reading his family emails all together, because Im not there with him. It's not our memories. When he was here I got so used to all memories belonging to US and now... we don't share any. These are mine in Utah... and his in Texas. 


The worst part is that I feel so selfish all the time because I feel this way. I can't help it though. When you love someone as much as I do, you want to share every single thing with them. Create lasting memories with them. These are two years of memories that we will always have, but never be able to share. We now are living separate lives. I am so grateful for this opportunity that he has to be out serving the Lord. I really would never wish he had not gone, because I know it is the right thing to do. But you would also think I would be used to it now after 14 months. In fact, it is getting worse. It is closer to him coming home, and now all he can talk about is how much he loves it there, doesn't want to leave, and hates how fast time is going. That is so good... but twists my heart at the same time. I just want him to be excited to see me, want to come home to memories again. I know this all sounds so horrible, sometimes you just have to say how you feel.


I think this is why I am such a homebody. I don't want to go out and make memories because I feel bad that he isn't there with me. I hate doing things that I can't tell him about because it will make him jealous, so I simply don't. I don't really have a life because I only want to share it with him. Lonely is not a fun state of life though. And it is slowly driving me insane. He is out living his life and I should be living mine, yet here I sit, wishing I could go out and travel with my girls, but won't because I have to save my money to get married or pay for Cam's schooling. I don't think I have to think this way. Or do things in spite of Cam... but I do. I think I need counseling. Maybe a talk with my mother would be best. 

he has my heart

Im sorry it has taken me so long to talk about this little guy right here that I adore but here it is.

This was my Christmas present from my cute sweetheart!

Isn't he adorable?

And do you want to know the best part about him?

He has a special voice box in him that is a recording of Cameron talking to me and telling me he loves me and that he is always here for me.

Can it get any better than that?

I am so lucky to have such a sweet and sensitive man who loves me so much!

This is my new sleeping buddie and he is sure comfy!

Thank you baby for one of the best Christmases ever!

Now this wasn't the only greatest thing I got from my sweetheart! 

I got to talk to him Christmas night and that was unreal!

Just ask him!

I will not be able to explain to you outsiders what we felt as we spoke to each other...

but love is real.

and what we have,

is right!

It was as if I was talking to him straight in the face.

We laughed and had things to talk about and it was all so natural!

and just to hear the words

"i love you"

what a blessing that is all in itself!

And now I have a recording I can listen to as many times as I want!

He is doing so amazing and we just love each other.

This is ending up to be the perfect love story,

and its all mine! 

:)

Welcome Home Elder Dawe!

going to see Park come home at the airport was such an amazing experience and i am so glad that i went. that day was so hard for me for some reason, but the airport made everything better!

we got there really early and watched two missionaries come off the planes and into their mother's arms. what a sweet moment that is for everyone, even those creepers like me watching the entire thing happen. the things they talk about and the looks they give each other are so sweet and funny at times. as we watched all i could think of was Park coming home, i felt like he had just barely left! i still remember taking pictures out on his porch and saying goodbye, now he was coming home!! i was in charge of the picture taking, and let me tell ya, i did pretty good... maybe too good haha 387 pictures to be exact. but every moment was priceless. and its a good thing i was there too because Marlo and Ian had forgotten all cameras! everone waited in a line for the missionaries to come out. as he turned the corner my hands started to shake and everyone cheered. it was amazing! it was such a sweet moment as Marlo ran out to hug him. it still makes me cry just thinking about it and how happy they were. of course he hugged everyone and there were so many people and family there to greet him! the moment when he finally recognized me was so funny! he couldn't believe it was me and said he couldn't recognize me at first. he came over and didn't know what to do, but in the end gave me a hug. we talked for a few seconds and i was just so excited that i gave him another hug haha it was quite funny. i love that guy and i am so excited to tell Cam all about it! i just took pictures while the family all gathered around him. what a great reunion for everyone!

Welcome Home Elder Parker Dawe!
We love you!

purple pinstripe

Going into email day today I was a bit nervous about which Cameron I would get. I definitely didn't want a sad Cam, but I was preparing myself for anything, seeing how last week was a rough one. Luckily I got the really happy and funny Cam, which is his normal self! :) I was so happy to know that he is doing great and my same Cam! I knew he would be okay, because that is just the kind of man that he is, but of course I still worry about him. He is doing so great and is just as cute as ever! It is still amazing to me that even after a year of not seeing him, we are still just as close, just as happy and even more in love!! I love being with someone who has no doubts about our love and our future and I know that we are young, but we know what love is and we know how to be happy. Life is simply wonderful right now and I am so blessed to be able to share it with the love of my life!!

ps. Cam notified me that he just bought a grey suit with white and purple pinstripes ant that he loves it... haha he makes me laugh!! That's my Cam!!

i am just dying right now!

i am in love.
and i don't care who knows it.
and this video
just made my day!!

I think i will just go run around the office now and dance and sing...
okay not really.
But that is definitely what I feel like!!

He makes me laugh even on a hard day :)