H week

so i am this crazy person who makes a hell week for myself... yes i know. retarded, but hey... after losing all of the 5 pounds that I've gained in the past month in just this week... it is worth it!

i have been eating so freaking good, working out 2-3 times a day and getting some great sleep. also loading up on tons of vitamins... my work drawers are like a freaking pharmacy! But I feel so amazing! I don't feel gross anymore. i have not only noticed a difference on the scale, but on my skin, my hair, my nails, my mind, my attitude and most of all... my happiness! i needed this week to get me motivated for the next 12 weeks to come and i definitely got that motivation! Not only from how good i feel, but from my Cam and his flight plans! and since I posted those plans basically everywhere, including the fridge, everyone asks about it, which makes me more excited and gives me more motivation!

in the next 12 weeks i have 7 pounds to lose and a ton of muscle to gain but I know that I can do it! after all... I have already lost 16 pounds! I have decided that the past few weeks were enough stress for the year and I am going to make these next 12 weeks the happiest ones ever. Of course there are always stressful times, but it doesn't mean you have to be stress. it's a choice and I will choose not to be.

Its amazing how clear my mind has gotten this week and how motivated and determined I am. I know what I want and my mind is set! A big BIG apology for my behavior the past few weeks to everyone! Stress, bad eating, that blasted period and missing my Sweetheart literally killed me and got to me in the worst way. I promise I will be better and i know you will all notice it... I promise I haven't turned into a monster! haha I really do love you all :)

Anyways, this week has been an incredible success and I am happy! Now none of you are allowed to tempt me with naught treats for the next 12 weeks and if you want to talk about cam... i really don't mind it :) 88 days ya'll! :)

school schmool

ugh! so saying that my application process to uvu was difficult is a total understatement. it has been awful. grrrrrrrr. let me explain.

july 21st i filled out my application as a re-apply because i had already submitted all information i needed before and got accepted two years prior. after submitting, they tell you they will send you an email that day with your uvlink and then your acceptance letter within two days. 5 days passed and still nothing. i just gave uvu the benefit of the doubt.. thinking that their system was just bombarded and that it would come. i also thought i could be retarded and didn't do something... like hit the submit button so i filled out another application and submitted it. the next day i left for the hunt reunion and had no service for 2 and a half days. i was sure that my acceptance would come when i got home. nothing. so i search uvu's website to try and find the status of my application and i swear it took me like an hour! but indeed i finally found it. wouldn't you know... they changed my application to a transfer student, and i was now required to submit all paperwork again (transcripts and test scores). Keep in mind, the application is due in three days now. i call pg and it is closed. i order my byu transcript and that was fine. then i go to send my ACT scores and not only do i find out they won't be there for like a week... but my math score is expired! that was it. i was done. i decided i am not going to school this semester haha i then go babysit for angela and she tells me to not be dumb and just do it and work hard to get accepted. blast.

it is now tuesday... the day before everything is due and i have a positive attitude and i am going to get this done, no matter how many tests i have to take. i call in the morning to see if my college credit will take place of my ACT scores and the girl doesn't tell me anything beneficial at all. ugh. so i decide to take a half day of work and head to the highschool to pick up my transcript and take it down myself. come to find out all of my test scores are on that transcript! woohoo! i take it down and give it to the lady and was like "just tell me what i need to do to finish this." i was just about done. she put everything in and then asked if i knew my math score was expired. yes i know. then she tells me i am done and good to go. i ask her over and over, are you sure i don't need to take any tests or do anything else and she just said no. then i tell her that i was so worried because i wasn't getting any emails...... crickets. she just starred at me like she wanted me to figure it out. well okay see ya! haha she tells me that i will get my acceptance email around 5 and then i can meet with my counselor and register for classes. finally i was done. so i thought....no email came. that was until at 10:57 when an email came saying that i had an incomplete application because i needed a math ACT score! ARG!!!!!!!!!!! I was so mad! so now i can't sleep because i think that i am going to be the only person who can't freaking get into UVU! so i call this morning all flustered and she takes a minute to look things over and she was like, no you are good. i show you are accepted now just meet with the counselor and you can register. i made sure i didn't need to get an acceptance email and she told me i was accepted. so i am now saying it is official.

GOSH BLAST!! could that have been any more complicated??? Someone obviously didn't want me to go to school. well sorry... i am now!

oh and.... just to add to all of this. while i was in the office on tuesday everyone in there was talking about all this residency stuff and i had no idea what it was or if it was something i forgot. so of course i ask if i need to do any residency stuff and she looked at the computer and looked at me with a are-you-blonde face and was like "nope, it looks like you have lived in utah your whole life." yep see ya, i booked it out the door! it's all for experience right??

to the max

The past two weeks I can honestly say have been the most stressful weeks of my life! So please excuse my broken out face, excessive eating and moody attitude... i just need a moment.

Thank you to the temple, prayer, my family and my Heavenly Father because I am finally finding clarity and direction. There are many changes going on with me and I am not ready to release them all but stay tuned... there could be big news!

As for my sweetheart, I still love him more than anything! We are happy and in love. And here comes the big BUT.... he is stressing me out just a little with all the wedding stuff. Don't get me wrong, I want to marry him more than anything, but I am learning that I just don't deal well with things that are rushed, and I don't see why we need to rush anything. Plus I can't handle the stress of planning a wedding right now, there are things I still need to figure out. I wrote him this week letting him know that we both need to still focus on ourselves individually and then we will work on us together when he gets home and just being happy and having fun as a pre-married couple :) It will all be good and the end goal is still being sealed in the temple, and it doesn't matter when that is!

Today I am going to let go of all the stress and just get my life back in order. Today, I am getting back to HAPPY!

sometimes the lights go out at the temple

yesterday i went to the temple by myself and learned a lot of things by pure observation. i've always seen the temple as a perfect place, where everything is perfect in there, everyone is quiet and so organized. yesterday... not so much. as I am getting changed, two girls come in just giggling their little hearts away and being super loud. it made me wonder if they didn't know they were supposed to be quiet in the temple. that led to so many people at the temple being pretty noisy and the temple workers being pretty unorganized and things just not going as perfectly as i wanted them to be. i almost wondered how it was that the temple workers were allowing all of this and if we were being disrespectful to the Lord. but as i sat down in the room where we did the confirmations things changed. everyone was quiet, our little temple worker man was seriously the cutest thing in the entire world and would just get himself all confused. during the middle of one confirmation the lights went out, the ordinance was completed and the lights went back on. one kid had accidently hit the light with his head. we all had a good laugh. it was then that i realized that we are all still humans who aren't perfect. we  get confused, make mistakes and enjoy being in one another's company. we aren't expected to be perfect, even in the temple, but there are things that are perfect. such as the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the ordinances performed in the temple. while waiting, Brother Patterson said something that really stood out to me, he said "your life may not change after you leave the temple tonight, you will probably go back to your regular life, but those whose work you are doing tonight, their lives will forever be changed. this is a big day for them" i will always remember that each time i go to the temple and that no one is perfect and that it doesn't matter if you don't say a word, or if you have a good little talk with a friend, maybe even hit the lights, you are in the temple as a worthy son or daughter of our Heavenly Father and you are saving lives!

slowly

i am slowly learning what life is all about.
who i want to be
what i need to do
everything that goes with growing up.
im learning
i am not frightened by it, although it may be scary at times
the Lord knows what he is doing
he creates a path for us as we step
life is full of uncertainty
i am learning to trust my heart, my brain and my Savior
because with them
i can not fall.
life my be scary and rough,
but all things that are good are worth it.

my immortal best friend.

just when you think no one understands or could possibly know what you are going through, the Savior always steps in. It is so comforting to know that he does care and understands and that he shows us exactly what we need to do and gives us the courage to do it.

things are definitely looking up in my life right now. im just happy and i couldn't have made it here without the Lord, my sweetheart and my wonderful family. life gets hard and satan is working overtime, but God is winning and will be winning forever. :)

its been a great day :) goodnight everyone, i'll tell you about it in the morning! read your scriptures, say your prayers and sweet dreams!

its thursday

• comfy clothes
• diet coke
• king size candy bars
• a quesadilla
• a blankie
• smooth tunes
• motrine

it's definitely that wonderful time. i guess i should see it as a blessing? gosh blast.

lovely ortho visits

the feeling of tight teeth with the added pleasure of soreness is not the only reason i am in love with going to my ortho appointments. its appointments like today, 45 minute appointments to be exact, that make me all happy inside and smiling from ear to ear.

45 minutes = 10 minutes of working on my teeth and 35 minutes of talking about me and Cameron and the future with my cute assistants :)

the two girls who work on my teeth have got to be the cutest things. we could definitely all be best friends. the moment they found out i was waiting for a missionary they HAD to know everything! they are the "awwwww cute!!!" laughy, bubbly, silly all over love...kind. see, told you we could be best friends! of course i tell them stories and about how we met and how in love we are. they love when i show them pictures as well, and i have plenty to show! they all tell me they are going to just show up at the airport and hide just to watch me and him see each other again. and i promised them an invite to the wedding! funny thing is... my dentists totally know who cam is! it was a good visit today :)

im in love :)

the church is true.

today i asked Heavenly Father to spiritually punch someone in the face.

.... it was almost as if he looked at me with a little smirk and said, "my pleasure."
And that is how wonderful my day at church was :)

pretty sunday mornings

please excuse me while i write down a few of my thoughts...

as much as i have loved cameron being on his mission and the blessings that have come from his service, it really just sucks sometimes. today i start the count down to four months until he gets home and although that seems so close, i'm about done with this whole distance thing. the thoughts of seeing him at the airport almost literally kill me. i want it to be now. i want him home, in my arms. happy and in love. but i must wait and we still are happy and in love.

it doesn't help either that all of our friends are getting married and engaged daily. not an exaggeration. i see all of their pictures and how happy they are and again... i want him to be home. i am already tired of just planning ours, i want to start doing things, but it is too soon and that is another thing i must wait for. waiting is such a weird phase, and according to my patriarchal blessing, patience is a virtue i have... guess i should use it.

me and cam talk a lot about how hard satan is working on us. and it is noticeable. this week especially i just wanted to run away and hide from him! but the Lord is always there helping us and getting us through. we will do great things and we are way too strong for satan to break us. plus with a man like cam to lean on, i shouldn't have any fear.

i didn't get his letter this week, which is actually humbling. as much as i needed it, the lord knows what he is doing and it will come at the right time.

my race is in two weeks, which is crazy to think about but i am actually pretty excited! yesterday's run was pretty good and i feel like I am accomplishing so much.

life is good. and patience is a virtue.

snaps for sky

so....

• I went to bed at 8:25 last night
• Managed to forget my future father-in-law's birthday party
• took three days writing Cameron's letter
• spent most of my savings for June in the first 5 days
• keep forgetting to take a book over to my sister's house
• completed 3 meltdowns
• have no clean workout clothes, let alone regular clothes
• forgotten where I put my debit card
• and have perfected the "homeless" look

i would say im doing pretty great don't you think? let's be positive here, at least i am still alive!

days of wonderful

Yesterday I got a surprise call from Maggie, my cute friend in Edinburg, Texas saying that she had just talked to Cam! She was going to see him as we spoke, he is staying in Edinburg for a few days. Lucky duck! She is such a sweetheart though and sends me pictures and videos of my cute boy. Look at him! He is so freaking skinny and looking just wonderful :) I may have been just giddy and happy in every way possible last night. I am in love :)

We have come so far in so many ways individually as well as a couple. He is my example and he tells me I am his. I am so proud of us and we still have 6 more months to get ourselves to exactly where we want to be. 

This bottom picture is of me two years ago vs. me today. I always saw a major change in Cam, but had never realized the change that I was making as well. These past few months have been rough trying to stay motivated to reach my goals and not going back on everything I had already accomplished. These pictures are my definite motivation to keep going.

I guess you could say I am a pretty happy girl right now :)

lessons that you learn in life

it's not that i don't enjoy blogging anymore, because i could never stop loving it, but i have had way too much on my mind the past few weeks to both gather my thoughts and refrain from saying things i may regret. lets be honest, i was not a happy sky the past almost two months and its been very difficult. but the lord definitely works in mysterious ways and this time he had to bring me at an all time low to really learn some life changing lessons. i learned a lot today.

i know that he sent me to my family for a reason, because he knew what i would be facing in this stage of my life. he gave me them for examples and guidance throughout the hardest, yet best years of my life. and the one saving angel he gave me, my mommy. she is undeniably incredible. she sees the bigger pictures when i know i don't at all. she loves me although i make mistakes and she is there with such a pure love. no other woman could have taught me better than her, because she gets it. she knows the realities of life and she is so close to our heavenly father that she knows what will help us best enjoy life and get back to live with him. today i was able to talk with her and figure out what really makes me happy in life and how i am going to really have the best life. she is amazing.

god loves us. he always has and always will no matter how hard we try to push him away or simply ignore him for a while, he welcomes us back with open arms. its hard to think that there were times when i forgot he was even there. but i know he understands and will bring us down, so that he can lift us higher. he loves us with an infinite love. and i love him.

i saw this quote today that summed my entire morning up. "challenges are events in life, not life itself." i used to think that way. but after much conversation with my amazing mom and the dad upstairs, life is good and is going to get so much better :)

blaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

growing up sucks.

period.

So I heard this quote from a cute niece of mine and I think I will direct it to someone specific,

Dear life,
I don't hate you.
I just hope your next period comes,
in a shark tank.
love me

:)

Heavenly Father loves me.

I left work five minutes early because I had to go grocery shopping and get dinner ready for when Tazz gets home from the Temple. I hit the freeway and was on my way home pretty fast because there wasn't too much traffic. I usually take the PG exit but for some reason I didn't get over to the lane to exit. I could have but didn't so I missed it. I would just get off the Lindon exit now. Once I passed the PG exit the traffic slowed way down. I saw the police cars race past and thought I would be stuck forever. It moved slowly, but kept moving. I finally got to the exit, after really only about three minutes, where there was no crash, nothing holding up traffic and it was now moving smoothly. Dumb. So I get off the exit and it is heavy traffic on the streets so it still takes me a while to get through. I could have taken a back road that would have been faster, but I decided not to and made it up to the intersection by Albertsons. I turned onto State Street and then made it home. Gosh that took forever. I went inside and grabbed some money, checked the mail and headed back to state street to go to Albertsons. I reached the intersection by Kneaders and noticed the police men directing traffic. I looked towards Albertsons and there had to be about 6 Ambulances, firetrucks and a billion police cars. They were shutting down half of state street too. It looked bad but I really couldn't see all that was happening....

Thats when it hit me. If I had taken the PG exit or the back roads, possibly just used my card instead of getting money, or even not checked the mail, I would have been right in the middle of what had happened. I missed it by a matter of minutes. The Lord is really looking out for me and my family. It was even better that I knew my parents were safe, Tazz was safe at the Temple and non of my loved ones would have been in the area.

That moment when you could have gotten off the correct exit but didn't because you had a simple thought not to.... that is feeling the spirit.

in reference to long post below

i have changed my thoughts about things.
i have made crazy decisions.
and i am going to have the best life there is.
and i am living for me!

i have always had a big desire to travel.
to see the world and be a part of something bigger than happy valley,
although i love my happy valley more than anything.
so here we go,
i say we because i have dubbed kaytlin as my travel partner,
and i am going to see the world.
what i can at least!

gosh what fun this will be to get away from the tv
and out where i belong.
i am beyond excited!
you will all have to wait and see the wonderful places i am going.
but want to know a secret?
our goal place for the year of 2012


CAMBODIA!

i have a month to get hiking ready.
i can do it!
stair climber here i come!
:)

stay tuned for more secret details.

maybe i should blog today.

fact: i did indeed get braces.
lie: i love them with all my heart.
honest truth: they are fine, managable and will be completely worth it.

fact: i did send off Cam's letter today, which is considered late.
lie: i got the most amazing letter today.
honest truth: no letter today and we will both be fine with our letters coming late.

fact: i am spending hours uploading songs to itunes and the nooks.
lie: i have enough music.
honest truth: why don't we have background music playing everywhere we go like in the movies? i will make sure i remember that for when i make my own world.

fact: i find myself obsessed with frozen yogurt.
lie: i worked out today.
honest truth: i should have worked out but, i would rather stay in sweats and eat yummy food today.

fact: my parents are going to hawaii.
lie: i am going with them!
honest truth: i am seriously considering packing up my things and heading out to somewhere warm where i can lay out on the beach and play tennis as much as i want.

life as we know it.

wow, yes it has been a record time since I blogged so many updates coming your way this instant.

one. the hair. so it didn't turn out exactly like the picture... well nothing like it actually. we didn't realize how light my hair was at the beginning so we decided not to put any dark in it and in the end it became basically all blonde with a few caramel pieces on the top. but i absolutely love it. my mom is right, i am a true blondie. and i am loving having my blonde hair back. it suits me. note to self and all readers: if i ever, EVER have the desire to die my hair dark again. do not allow me to do so. i always just spend the time and hair particles dying it back blonde so lets just learn now and keep moving forward with the blonde hair on my head.

two. i will not share many details but this must be written for history, never give returned missionaries the benefit of the doubt if they continue being weird after the first week. if that seems to be the case, it is most likely that is how they will stay. i know this first hand and after such a horrible experience i will not being hanging out with such RM, or any other of Cam's mission friends from now on. its all just better that way.

three. new years resolutions. this year i am finding a lot more motivation than most, possibly because I don't have a choice! there are things that need to get done and oh trust me, they will get done. slowly but surely. i will say that i did not eat my best today, but tomorrow is definitely a new day.

four. i love this man. and he is wonderful. and we love each other. no new news there.

five. last night was amazing in a sense. my family is simply incredible. staying up till around 2 in the morning reading scriptures and just being happy and feeling the spirit. nothing is better than that! I am so grateful for the relationship i have with my brother, the sweet spirit my mom has and the way my daddy honors his priesthood. i have the dream family and i am so proud!

six. i bought a tennis raquet. yes, i realize it is january, but do you see any snow? nope, okay so we are still good. I am so excited to start using it! I also want to try a few other things like rock climbing and overcoming my fears. just have to schedule everything in!

seven. so there is this goal that i am going to stick to. that is doing something every night and not just sitting on the couch or reading. this is going to make time fly just so much faster! yay for planners haha.

eight. i get braces this week. thursday to be exact.... i am so freaking excited!!! i just want it to be tomorrow haha i really just can't wait!! ah! haha i know i am weird but the sooner i get them, the sooner i get them off!!! woot!

well that is all i can think of right now. i promise better blogging from now on!

Christmas

Christmas was absolutely wonderful this year! Best one yet! :) But what can be better when you have the best family and every reason in the world to be happy?

Here are a few of the 2011 Christmas highlights:

You can't have Christmas Eve without new Christmas Jammies! I love how my parents always try to convince us that we are getting something different every year. But yes, the comfy jammies :) Pretty sure mine beat everyone by a long shot! Most comfortable PJ's ever! And Tazz sporting the Jordan wear.

Christmas morning! 6AM! Yes, our parents still love us! We both couldn't sleep the entire night. Me and Tazz have this tradition where every Christmas Eve he sleeps on my floor and we never ever sleep. It's Christmas and just happens that way.

We set our alarms and don't get out of bed until they ring. Then I leave the waking up the parents to him. Then we sit on the top of the stairs and wait till they get all ready and it usually takes them forever while we are inching our way down the stairs. Then mom goes to see if Santa came, lets us know he did and then we run down the stairs.

I love it!

Tazz looks so awake!

This is Tazz, Christmas morning, with his TSwift poster on his door. He loves her.

All our presents under the tree!!

Mom and Dad got me a nook!! Woot Woot so wonderful! I can't wait to start reading on it. What can I say? I am a true electronic Junky. Call me nerd, it's fine.

Tazz loved his new amazing outfielder's glove! It was so nice!

You all should have seen him freak out when he saw these!! Him and his fashion obsession when it comes to baseball is a little weird. But he loved them and was wearing them most of the morning!

Me and Mom's Nooks we got each other! She was so surprised and I love mine! Mine is the Color and hers is the Tablet.

Cinnamon Rolls and Hamburger Patties for Christmas breakfast every year!!! Yes, I know it sounds so weird! But so freaking good. And since all my family and friends like to tell my secret anyways... here it is... I do in fact eat my cinnamon rolls with ketchup. I love it. Don't judge! haha. I found out where this tradition came from this year.

My dad loves cinnamon rolls and long before my existence he went through a hamburger phase where he just wanted them all the time for everything. So my mom made him a hamburger patty to go with his cinnamon roll. Then my dad couldn't have all the cholesterol as often as he was eating that combination so it became the Christmas specialty.

What a great tradition from my typical father haha.

My wonderful quesadilla maker from the best little brother ever! Gosh I am addicted to these things and so for lunch we tried it out and oh my gosh so amazing!!! I am in love/addicted! haha.

After opening presents and a fast breakfast we went over to Kellie's house to watch her open her big "surprise!" So exciting. I still remember how it was when we surprised mom with her car and this was just like it! She had no clue that mom and Sterling had gotten her the Camera of her dreams! She opened the boxes as we all were so excited and recording. Then she saw it! She started crying as she slowly peeled back the rest of the wrapping paper. She couldn't believe it! What a memorable moment. "I never thought I would own one of these" she said. She finally put the box down and gave Sterling the biggest hug. Everyone bawling! She was basically hyperventilating. But it was so great to be there and watch. A small video may be coming up soon.

We all went to church and that was great to just be there on the Lord's day! And I wore my cute new ruffle skirt that I love so much! Such a great day at church with the family!

When we got home we made pumpkin pies and I made oreo truffles for Cody. Oh and making quesadillas of course! :)

I decided to wear my Pancho that Cam sent me!! Gosh I love that thing hahaha It was on my Christmas List I sent him. We went over to Clint and Jamie's house for dinner with everyone.

Note: Misty and Scott were not there because his dad isn't doing too well so they went to Oregon, but we missed them so much and I hope they had a wonderful Christmas!!

Anyways... Dinner was amazing as always! Chicken Cordon Bleu this time! And I of course stuffed my face full!!! hahaha it was wonderful! :) The highlight of dinner has to be when Grandma accidently swore haha we all couldn't stop laughing! I was able to watch everyone open their presents before I had to head off to Cameron's house! It was so great to be with the family!!

The end of Christmas day was absolutely amazing! I will save that for the next post though... Stay tuned. :)

All in all this was the most amazing Christmas I've had yet!!

I am so extremely blessed to have the friends and family that I have and my knowledge of the Savior and his love for me!

reduced blogging what?

i know its weird for me too that i haven't blogged everyday, four times a day. so lets play a little catch up shall we? be prepared for an enormous post. ready go.

hmmm where to begin, oh okay how about the wisdom being taken from me? so my dad so kindly drives me to the oral surgery place and i have trying not to freak out. i've done this before, no big deal right? yep, totally freaking out inside. we get there and i pay my whopping $80 (all praise smilereminder) and sit. not for long though. i am called back and lead to the room where i am bound to die it feels like. they sit me down and i remind them that they are not putting me under and they just stare at me in awe. i know im crazy get over it. then i sit and wait for like fifteen minutes for the doc to come in. im already freaking out and they make me wait, geez. so he asks me over and over if i am sure i don't want to be put out. yes, now numb me up and get these things out. so the numbing process begins. i am used to the shots because i have had so many in my life, but he gets to the third shot, "oops that was a vein, you okay?" yes, a vein. it hurt bad! but i was fine. except for then my mind started running. "what if the numbing stuff goes through my system and to my heart? what if my heart gets numb? will it stop beating? how do you un numb me once my whole entire body is numb because you hit my vein? im going to die right here in this room." my thoughts exactly. after six shots i get to wait again until half of my head is numb. finally he comes in to take the dang things out! it took longer than the first two but i just was happy to be almost done! the bottom one though he had to drill into, which was not fun, it didn't hurt but just was loud in my head. and then i was done! ta da! thank the mountains! after the shoved me full of gauze, we headed straight to the redbox and got great movies and for the next week i indulged in soup and frostys. so glad to be done with that!

so now i am this poofy half chipmunk and we are having a family party and going to temple square. i was a butt head not going to lie, but i just was an unhappy chipmunk to say the least, but its all good.

work was a killer last week! South Texas Dental signed on and so I trained them all week with sore mouth. they were all great though and it made the week go by fast.

saturday i went on a date. yes, a date. no, nothing like the summer! it was more of like a hang out. my friend jessie asked me if i would ask a boy so that we could go on a double date. i couldn't turn her down. i asked my friend barrett who is just such a good friend. both us girls don't date or want to date at all so we tried to make it as informal as possible. it was more of like a hang out. we went up to temple square and looked at the lights and had hot chocolate and then we made cookies back at her house. it was a really good night and so much fun just to be with friends! nothing was awkward and the whole evening was simply non-threatening. just all great!

i have had some great times and many more to come. here comes the blogging, stay tuned.