Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Worst Dream Ever!

Even though I love dreaming about Cameron, tonights dream was not one I would want to come true.

I dreamed that Cam came home from his mission for a week because of something that had happened in his family. He wasn't under mission rules but kinda was at the same time. They just encouraged him to keep the mission rules while he was home so he wouldn't do anything stupid and stay a missionary. The day he got home he asked me to come over to his house to see him. When I got there he gave me a huge hug and I just cried but was so happy!! He put his arm around me as we went into his house and while walking in gave me just a little  peck on the lips! Oh how I loved and missed that! We ended up going to my house and hanging out with a ton of friends! Cam wanted me by his side at all times but I needed to get things for people so whenever he started talking to someone I would slip away and go help someone find something or set up something. I was setting up the Wii and Cam came and found me and was like "Sky I want you by me at all times! They can do it themselves! I am only here for a week!" We went and sat on the couch with a bunch of people and were just talking! I usually hold his hand when we sit and I went to go grab it but hurried and backed off when I remembered mission rules. He was like, "Sky its okay! I want to hold your hand! You can!" But I couldn't! Then we were all laughing and having a good time and he said something from before his mission and back then I would have kissed him on the cheek and then he kiss me on the lips and I went to go kiss his cheek but again I couldn't. He again said it was alright and wanted me to so I just gave him a small one and then he leaned in to give me a kiss on the lips and I backed away!! I couldn't do it!! He was still a missionary! If he had been released and had completed his mission that would have been way different but he still had time to go!! I wanted to kiss him so bad but I just couldn't given the circumstances!! I felt horrible but being the loving boyfriend he is, he completely understood!

Okay about now you are probably wondering how this could be the worst dream ever... It actually sounds like something I might want to happen but just wait... you'll see!

The week passed too fast for both of us. We spent as much time as we could together, with his family and with my family! It was a perfect week you could say! But then it came. The day he had to go back. Saying goodbye that time was even harder than the first! We cried and cried and he just held me and didn't want to let go! We weren't ready to say goodbye again even though we knew the next time we saw each other he would be home for good! It was horrible reliving that moment!

 I woke up crying, thinking about the night he gave me the most beautiful blessing he could muster up behind the tears and saying goodbye to my family. The night I went through all of his stuff while he sat there and watched me cry. When he gave me my last kiss for the next two years. It was hard but let me tell you how worth it this all was!! I have never seen that man so mature and grown up and I love him more and more everyday even though I can't see him! I feel his love in his letters and he really is with me everywhere I go! Waiting is hard sometimes but a lot easier than I thought it would be! Days feel like weeks, but weeks feel like days!

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