to the max

The past two weeks I can honestly say have been the most stressful weeks of my life! So please excuse my broken out face, excessive eating and moody attitude... i just need a moment.

Thank you to the temple, prayer, my family and my Heavenly Father because I am finally finding clarity and direction. There are many changes going on with me and I am not ready to release them all but stay tuned... there could be big news!

As for my sweetheart, I still love him more than anything! We are happy and in love. And here comes the big BUT.... he is stressing me out just a little with all the wedding stuff. Don't get me wrong, I want to marry him more than anything, but I am learning that I just don't deal well with things that are rushed, and I don't see why we need to rush anything. Plus I can't handle the stress of planning a wedding right now, there are things I still need to figure out. I wrote him this week letting him know that we both need to still focus on ourselves individually and then we will work on us together when he gets home and just being happy and having fun as a pre-married couple :) It will all be good and the end goal is still being sealed in the temple, and it doesn't matter when that is!

Today I am going to let go of all the stress and just get my life back in order. Today, I am getting back to HAPPY!

sometimes the lights go out at the temple

yesterday i went to the temple by myself and learned a lot of things by pure observation. i've always seen the temple as a perfect place, where everything is perfect in there, everyone is quiet and so organized. yesterday... not so much. as I am getting changed, two girls come in just giggling their little hearts away and being super loud. it made me wonder if they didn't know they were supposed to be quiet in the temple. that led to so many people at the temple being pretty noisy and the temple workers being pretty unorganized and things just not going as perfectly as i wanted them to be. i almost wondered how it was that the temple workers were allowing all of this and if we were being disrespectful to the Lord. but as i sat down in the room where we did the confirmations things changed. everyone was quiet, our little temple worker man was seriously the cutest thing in the entire world and would just get himself all confused. during the middle of one confirmation the lights went out, the ordinance was completed and the lights went back on. one kid had accidently hit the light with his head. we all had a good laugh. it was then that i realized that we are all still humans who aren't perfect. we  get confused, make mistakes and enjoy being in one another's company. we aren't expected to be perfect, even in the temple, but there are things that are perfect. such as the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the ordinances performed in the temple. while waiting, Brother Patterson said something that really stood out to me, he said "your life may not change after you leave the temple tonight, you will probably go back to your regular life, but those whose work you are doing tonight, their lives will forever be changed. this is a big day for them" i will always remember that each time i go to the temple and that no one is perfect and that it doesn't matter if you don't say a word, or if you have a good little talk with a friend, maybe even hit the lights, you are in the temple as a worthy son or daughter of our Heavenly Father and you are saving lives!