Thursday, July 19, 2012

life is hard.

please excuse me while i express my feelings for a moment.

at one point i knew exactly what i wanted and was sure that i was making the right decisions. and now, im back to being lost. i feel like every decision that ever felt right, now was the worst decision ever. this is why i hate making decisions, because right now i feel like i have messed up my life. i know that isn't true of course, but i think about all the decisions i have made and just feel so lost again. ugh. 

i know what the Lord is doing. he is teaching me a lesson and telling me that i can't tell him how my life is going to go. only he can do that. and being a control freak does not help! 

there is only one decision that i am absolutely certain about at this point and that is Cameron. I have absolutely no doubts about him and us. 

everything else though... Heavenly Father help me :(

1 comment:

Emilie said...

I can totally relate to this feeling! We know we should always pray about it, but He won't direct us in all things, so we should be making plans anyway and more like asking Him for approval before going through with them. Good feeling vs. stupor of thought gives you the answer, and then you go. It all sounds so easy, but the hard part is like what you said, where you felt good and sure about something before, but now you're not so sure. A few weeks ago, I came across an AWESOME quote, and I wish I'd known about it a long time ago!

"With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it....it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don't go to that being who is bent on your destructino of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence'. Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Good luck!