bows and arrows: one point five

Point five.
Life is such an interesting concept to grasp at times. It definitely throws you into a loop, especially when you think you have everything figured out. Allow my to explain on such a personal level. I loved a man with all my heart and I promised my everything to him for all eternity. He was my whole world and the only thing I ever looked forward to was his letters and marrying him. Then about 3 weeks ago, I met this guy. Returned missionary, really sweet and someone to talk to. He asked me on a date and those dates were really fun. He was a very VERY touchy feelly guy though, and it kind of freaked me out. He knew about my missionary and how in love I was with him, but through his manipulating ways convinced me to give him a chance. I really liked hanging out with him because we had fun and he showed me that attention that had been lacking from my missionary being gone, but I always came home guilty. I still loved my missionary. I was so afraid I was questioning my love and devotion for him, when I have always been so certain. People had seen me and this boy on our dates and were not very happy with me. It was so hard, I couldn't understand why everything was so confusing so fast. After much contemplation and realization, I realized all my faults. Number one being my lack in faith and devotion to my Father in Heaven. Yet again I had stopped doing the small and simple things and gave into temptation, and while in this state I was making decisions that made no sense and was only causing heartache. My mom has always been my strength and always knows more than I do, so why not listen? I cut all ties with the boy and told my sweet missionary everything scared of what he may say and think. Although it was infact the hardest 2 weeks I have had to go through, I learned so much. First, my love for Cameron was completely confirmed. I realized that I was about to give up my eternal happiness for a moment of nothing really. Thank goodness for the absolute sweetheart my Cameron is, I receive the best letter I have ever gotten from him expressing his love and devotion for me. He made me the cutest bracelet that I will never take off. I still love a man and he is my best friend. I have learned my lesson and I will forever be loyal and dedicated to that man! Moral of my story: never ever stop reading your scriptures, saying your prayers and living the gospel of Jesus Christ. You can only have pure happiness through him. This past week was amazing growing closer to Christ and strengthening my testimony, relationship with my Heavenly Father, and also my relationship with Cam. I am in love, and no one can tell me or convince me otherwise.

Now to begin day uno.
:)

This is me :)