sometimes i feel like there are fake people in the blogging world. me slightly being one of them. liars. not necessarily liars, just only half-tellers. those who tell only the happiest moments of their lives and make it seem like their life is perfect. maybe that isn't there intention, but reading them... its the jealousy in me that wants my life to be perfect like theirs.
then i read this blog. think your life, marriage, sanity is falling to pieces. take an hour or two and read her story, it's addicting (no pun intended) and one hundred percent brutally honest. i admire her.
so lets be honest here for a minute. reading her blog was something i needed desperately today. this morning i found myself overwhelmed with mixed feelings. partly because of lack of sleep and partly because this is a stressful time. my sister reminded me this morning of the big decisions i have ahead of me and how crucial they are to my [our] future. i thought about past events. times when i walked through the door with just a simple "hey," interrupted kisses, hugs that don't last as long as i want and singing parties that turned into solos... all of those memories filled my eyes with water. i really contemplated the possibility of something be wrong. me being pushy and imagining past memories. i decided to just get to work and ignore it all.
that's when i got to reading about mr. and mrs. scabs. i read their story. the entire thing. there is not one lie in her words. she doesn't hide anything and i applaud her for that. it then made me think of his soft kisses on my forehead, his hand fitting perfectly in mine, the countless times a day he says "i love you" so sincerely, and those eyes that stare into mine, filled with love and happiness. completely filled with not even a glimpse of emptiness.
truth is. im blessed beyond measure for the man in my life that will be mine for eternity. life isn't always roses and sparkles and it takes honesty, love and maybe a blog to realize "hey" is better than silence, a hug is better than space, him sincerely kissing you back is better than him kissing someone else and even though you may be the only one singing... don't forget about that smile and sparkling eye looking back at you as he is thinking, "she is crazy and adorable."
so this may have been completely personal and honest and even turned into a letter to myself. but i learned something today, that i've known all along. i love him and although no one is perfect... he is.
happy valentines eve, eve lovelies!